According to the National Council on Aging, persons age 65 and older are the fastest growing segment of the U.S. population. Did you know that almost 40% of all U.S. workers are now as involved with caring for an aging parent as they are with a child? It’s called the “sandwich generation,” a metaphor used to describe the circumstances of today’s middle aged adults who are increasingly finding themselves “sandwiched” between the care and demands of their children and their aging parents.
An estimated 45 million Americans now care for an aging parent or relative, according to
the latest research (Kaiser Family Foundation, 2002). Are you prepared to handle the difficult issues that can arise when faced with caring for an aging parent? The following guidelines can help ensure that you make the best choices possible, for your parent, your family and yourself:
1. Find out your parent ’s wishes.
How great is your parent’s need for independence?
What goals or dreams remain to be accomplished? What are your parent’s needs and concerns about the future? What aspects of your parent’s life are most important to him/her at this stage of life? Being near family? Seeing certain friends? Practicing his/her religion?
2. Be sure your parent ’s legal documents are in order.
Has your parent executed all of the important legal documents and are they up-to-date?These would include an up-to-date Will, Living Will, Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare, and Durable Power of Attorney.
3. Learn your parent ’s desires regarding healthcare.
Does your parent have a doctor who he/she trusts? If your parent is sick presently, what is his/her prognosis and how will it affect his/her personal care, housing, medical needs or finances? If you had to make medical decisions for your parent, what would he/she want you to know? How would your parent weigh the benefits or burdens of various medical treatments? Is there a certain point after which your parent would no longer want aggressive medical care? Are advanced healthcare directives in place (Living Will, Durable Power of Attorney For Healthcare)?
4. Find out your parent ’s wishes regarding housing.
How important is it to your parent to remain in his or her own home? Where would your parent want to live if he/she could no longer manage at home? Is your parent familiar with other housing options available? What if it isn’t possible for your parent to live with another family member?
5. Learn about your parent ’s financial resources.
What are your parent’s present financial needs and potential future needs? Is he/she in a financial position to meet these needs? Is your parent’s insurance — including life, health, home and auto — adequate and current?
6. Be sure that your parent has all relevant documents, records and information in order.
Be sure that you or another family member knows where all documents are. As your parent becomes increasingly frail, your family will need certain financial records, insurance information, advance healthcare directives, names of doctors, etc. Talk and plan together now about how your parent’s affairs should be handled in the event he/she becomes incapacitated.
7. Gather information now on how to care for an aging parent.
There are numerous resources available online or at your local library or bookstore which discuss: housing options, preparing wills and advance healthcare directives, long-distance care giving, protecting and maximizing financial resources, healthcare, community and home-care services, dealing with Alzheimer’s Disease or other disorders, etc.
YOUR EAP IS HERE TO HELP
Your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) can help you with the complicated processes
and emotional impact of eldercare. We can assist you with planning for caring for an aging parent or relative by providing resources and referrals to community providers for legal, financial, housing, medical care, long-distance care giving, home-care services, and other eldercare services. Your EAP can also provide counseling for communicating with elderly relatives and making the difficult decisions related to their care. Additionally, assistance is available to help employees cope with the challenge of balancing eldercare responsibilities with other family or work-related responsibilities. If you need help, why not contact your EAP today?
We’re here to help.